Oh Christmas Tree

 I decided to go cut my own Christmas tree. I wanted the biggest tree I could find. It's times like this that having a man around would be beneficial but since I don't have one of those I took a small chain saw and off I went. I suppose I didn't think it through very well cuz I cut a 20 foot tree then couldn't pick it up. I called one of my friends that lives close to the tree farm to help me but he couldn't pick it up either. In the end it took two men and myself to get that damn tree in the truck, then in the house. You should have seen them trying to net the tree. It was so big we couldn't push it though the net machine. Guess not to many people are in the market for 20 foot trees. When we got the tree in the house and untied the rope it popped open. Let me tell you that tree is a lot bigger inside than what it was outside. It's massive and takes up over a quarter of my living room. Glad I have a big living room otherwise it would only have a tree in it. Yesterday I watched all the coven kids along with a few others that don't live on the compound so the crew could go see Chris Cornell in Ann Arbor. I had a slumber party. What a great time I had with the kids!! The first thing we did was decorate the tree. Except I forgot to put the star on the tree before the guys stood it up and left. I thought I'd try to get the star on myself. It's difficult to put a star on a 20 foot tree that is almost as big around as it is tall. I thought with my flexibility and balance I can get the star on all by myself Arabesque style. Yeah, right..... I ended up ridding the Christmas tree down to the floor. That was a great laugh for all of us. You know when stuff like that happens, other stuff like oh shit, comes out of your mouth. I do try to be the best influence for the kids as possible. Danny says, "You can swear. My dad does it all the time". Hahaha (yeah, I know.) So then my big heavy tree was laying on it's side on my floor. I had to stand it back up, so I rigged a pulley system and hoisted that big ass tree back up. Yes, I can be very inventive when I need to be. The kids did a great job at decorating the tree. We played hide and seek. Which turned into hide, sneak up on someone, and scare the crap out of em'. We ate pizza, and made Carmel apples. Then I mentioned playing video games. Which turned into how bout we play Rock Band, which turned into Rock Band is only for people who really don't know how to rock!!! Hell Yeah, that's my girl. So, I took them all downstairs and we really rocked. We have some ridiculously talented kids. You can tell who their parents are, that's for sure. Hey, at least their being raised appropriately... Musically anyway {wink}.

I have a big bedroom that I turned into a huge walk in closet for all my costumes and stuff. I have enough stuff that anybody can play dress up at my house. The boys didn't really wanna play dress up but they did however say they'd like to see me in my cat woman outfit. What I wanna know is how do the boys even know I have a cat woman outfit? That outfit is still a hot topic several years later except I shouldn't be having that conversation with kids that are all under 10 yrs. old. Jayden professed his love to me before bed. He bought me a red wood rose with his allowance money that he gave to me while telling me how much he loves me. He wants to take me out on a date to Mc Donalds. He told me I was way to pretty to be single and that he will marry me when he is old enough. I told him, I was way to old for him and by the time he's old enough to marry I'd be an old lady. He then told me, he like's older woman and that's how he rolls..... Hahaha I kid you not and he's 7. Like I said, you can tell who their parents are. Sweet, cute as hell little Jayden. I just love that kid. He's pretty romantic for a 7 yr. old.  To bad he's not a least 25 - 35 yrs. older.....

 

A turn in the path

and there it stood

in a valley

in the middle of the woods.

 

A little old house

so pretty and quaint

with a multitude of colors

that didn't come from paint.

 

The window frames were chocolate

with meringue for the sills

pink candy tiles covered the roof

framed by the surrounding hills.

 

Cinnamon donuts were the bricks

that formed all the walls

piled one atop the other

'til they reached ten feet tall.

 

The heart shaped pond in front

was filled to the brim with coke

and rising from the chimney

was cotton candy smoke!!

 

I sampled sills and windows

bit off doorknobs with delight

I feasted on that house

'til I looked a sticky fright.

 

Then craving the cinnamon donuts

I pulled some from a wall

but to my horror it trembled

and slowly began to fall.

 

I threw up my hands in front of me

and awoke with a scream

the taste was still so strong in my mouth

yet it must have been a dream......