Mayhem Updates

Sorry I haven't been more entertaining this week. Kind of wiped after finishing revisions on my novella. Damn late night epiphanies. Making some changes that won't matter to you guys. Resubmitting by Friday. The novel is coming along. I'm having a harder time with this because the story has resonated in my mind for such a long time. No wonder many writers are alcoholics. Getting this involved with so many imaginary people will really screw with your mind (Ha). I'm thinking about posting a one chapter teaser for you guys. Not sure if that's a good idea or not. Guess I'll have to talk to my people and see what they say about that. A few months ago I wrote a piece called "Le Belle". Only a very select few got to read it. It's kinda personal and will never see print. It was something I wrote after a hot ass dream infused with my illusion of ever after. Inspiration at it's finest {wink}. Anyway, one of the select few that did read it was my editor which is also a very good friend. She shared it with another friend (unknowing to me) that is a publisher agent . I got a e-mail basically saying what a hot story and I need to start writing romance smut. That story is not in any way my typical subject matter. I've never written romance in my life nor have I ever felt the need to. Honestly, I don't know if I'm capable of writing a novel or novella of that magnitude. It takes a lot of passion to write romance. Some of you know where the inspiration came from. I'm afraid a story such as that is a one time thing. I don't have any other inspiration. So unless something major changes I don't see any romance coming from me......  

Got a lot of entries for the 2012 Heavy Weights Battle of the Bands. I've been spending a lot of time going through submissions and listening to tracks. I'm terribly critical when it comes to composition and quality in music. Most of these bands are SO difficult to listen to! My ears, my poor ears..... So far I only have two I'd even consider. At this rate there won't be a show......

One of the dancers took a nasty fall and twisted her ankle, tore a tendon or something. Since I know the choreography and performed in the show for several seasons, I was asked to step in until she heals from her injury. I wasn't planning on doing Nutcracker this year but my love for dance and theater I couldn't say no. So, I'll be performing in the "Nutcracker" ballet with the Chicago Sinfonietta until she heals from her injury. The month of December is going to be extremely busy for me now.


For those of you who are going to Metalfest in January. It will be a rippin' show. Brian and I booked some great bands for your listening pleasure. Have a great time! However, I will not be there. I will be somewhere on a mountain. Skiing, writing, eating, drinking, relaxing, with a little Mayhem on the side.......

The 2012 Mayhem festival is underway. Last year I had a lot going on and was unable to attend all the shows. I'll be behind the scenes, lurking in the shadows doing something somewhere but I will be on site at all 25 shows this coming year. 26 tour buses, 13 production trucks and over 20,000 screaming fans!!! John, Kevin, Dave, the rest of the Mayhem crew and I work very hard to make Mayhem Fest the best one ever and 2012 won't disappoint. I am personally disappointed because I really wanted to invite my favorite foreign band on this tour but I lost the battle. It's not over 2013 is coming up and I'm a hell of a squeaky wheel. At least we can all agree the music is fabulous. I guess more time to prepare for the next battle which I surely will win. On a lighter note: My good friend Spencer will be there with his band 5FDP. The remaining line up will be announced soon. So watch for my postings.

I'm in Chicago today recording 6 new episodes. Tune in for the hardest in your face metal station in Chicago. We'll be airing my interview with Danzig on December 10th. My interview with As I Lay Dying will air on the 17th. I'll be announcing how to win free tickets to the upcoming Rock Star Energy Mayhem Festival nearest you.

I'll be promoting some of our best local metal bands this week on Friday at Planet Rock. The crew from 97.9 will be there as well. Come down and watch a good show, meet the bands, and have drinks with yours truely. I'll have some cool stuff to give away and I'll be tending bar from 5 - 7pm. I've never bartended in my life, I really don't know what I'm doing, and I'm sure I'll be slow. But, if you come down I promise to make your drinks like I make mine. So damn strong you can barely stand it......

Bad Habits

Before I left on my journey I was lectured. I'm going to hash this out on my blog. I know not only do my friends read my blog but so does my mom and the rest of the family. I really can't argue with anything you both said. It's all true. Every bit of it.....

Yup, I smoke a lot of pot. I pretty much smoke on & off from the time I wake up til' the time I go to bed. If you smell cronic, I'm probably close by. There are many things that I could be doing that I don't partake in. Yeah, I get the munchies but I eat healthy for the most part. I do like to make marijuana cookies, butter, oil, brownies, cakes, candy, beer, you name it I'll put some magic in it. Yup, I'm a sticky note addict. I can't for the life of me remember the day to day things. I have to write it down or I'll forget. I have a great memory for the most part. I can remember everything from the time I was 2 - 3 yrs. old to current. I can remember every conversation I ever had. I can remember how to play both piano and guitar to over 400 songs. I can remember all the chorography I've ever done. I can remember every news article, band interview or article, or book I've ever read. I can remember peoples names and what they do even if I only met someone once then don't see them for years. It may take a minute but I'll remember the name even if I don't recognize the face. I stink at math (other than the basics) but for some reason or another I CAN remember every address, locker combo, phone numbers, drivers license number, social security number, all my bank account numbers, credit card numbers,  I've ever had. If I seen yours at one point I can tell you what it is (good thing I'm not a crook). I'm not kidding, I remember all that stuff. I have a million sticky notes that remind me of all the day to day things I know I won't remember later. Maybe it is due to smoking so much weed but I think it's due to all the other stuff in my head. I have a very active mind. My wheels are always turning so it doesn't surprise me that I can't remember everything. Even if all the other stuff is suppose to be more important than all the stuff I can't remember. I think my mom's issue was she asked me a question and I told her I needed to think about it before I gave her an answer. She came to see me a few weeks later and asked me if I had thought about it. I said yes and started flipping through my paperclip of sticky notes looking for my answer....

Blocking out the world. Yup, guilty again. I get it you guys. I really do. I'm too good at blocking things out. You have said, a freight train could run through my house and I wouldn't blink an eye. Your probably right but I'd figure out what happened when I'm looking through what used to be a wall. I know at times you can be talking to me and I'll be looking you in the face and not know what the hell you just said. I live in my mind and sometimes it's hard for me to focus when I have other things I'm thinking about. I know I seem to be getting worse instead of better. I have been thinking about serious matters within the last couple of months so it has been worse than ever before. I will really make an effort to pay attention. That would get on my nerves too.

Food? Oh, yummy. I love good foods. I used to love making gourmet dinners but I don't have anybody to cook for. I hate to make dinner that will take me several days to eat. I don't wanna cook for myself. I do it but I don't like it. There I said it. As much as I love food, I hate shopping. You will never see me at the mall or somewhere stupid. That includes the grocery store. I'm guilty again. Getting me to go grocery shopping is like getting a tooth pulled. I'll go if I must but it hurts so bad. I will finally go when there is absolutely not one thing left. I'm not a shopper. Although I don't mind going to the fresh fruit/ veggie market. Why don't they have delivery boys that bring you your groceries? That is such a good idea. I would for sure be a loyal customer. I would like to tell you I'd get out and go shopping at least for groceries but I don't think I can get over not liking to shop. If I can't go to guitar center and get what I need or get on line I don't really need it. I'll go before I starve I promise. {wink}

Communication? I communicate. Read my blog or facebook. Settle down, I'm just kidding. You all complain often that I won't answer the phone, I never have my cell phone on, I won't open my mail, I won't check my e-mail, and half the time you can't get me on facebook. If something bad happened I wouldn't know it cuz I won't answer the phone. You again are right. My step mom passed away not so long ago and I couldn't be reached just like you said. I was told via Facebook. Although I already knew she was gone. I was waiting on the call but I forgot to turn my phone on. Sad, I know. I'm guilty again. I hate the phone with a passion unless I'm initiating the call. I'm being honest..... Every time the phone rings I want to smash it. You can thank my ex for that. He would call me a million times when I'd be working a show, or promoting, or out of town. It didn't matter what was going on or where I was I could count on him calling a million times to see what I'm up to. Dave, you remember what happened in Seattle. I lost it right there in front of everybody. It's the Miz Mayhem show. Watch me flip out, turn colors, and if your lucky you may even see me reach through the phone and strangle someone. Hopefully in time that too will pass. It's not just that. I'm an artist. Usually I'm writing, playing, painting, or sculpting. I'm in my zone and when the phone rings it's a distraction and it just flat out gets on my nerves. I hate phones and would be happy if we could only e-mail. Which brings us to Mail and E-Mail....

I read my e-mail when Dave tells me to. Sometimes I even do it without being told. If I'm super bored and have absolutely nothing better to do I have checked it before all on my own. It just doesn't happen very often. I don't get bored only once a year or something. Boredom has never been an issue for me. Checking my own e-mail? Oh, please don't make me!!! I don't open my regular mail either. I go to the mailbox just for exercise. I bring the mail in and it sits in a basket on my desk til the basket fills up then I shred it. I look at it when I bring it in. I just don't open it unless I think it's something important like when I got the letter from the court. I opened it and it pissed me off. Another reason why I don't open the mail. Shred that shit and stay happy. Look what happened last year when I opened my bank statement and realized I ran up a $1,260.00 bar tab at the ski resort for one month. It pissed me off. It's stuff like that. I don't need to know. Which brings us to finances.

Nope, I don't know what my bank statement says. If someone was stealing from me unless they took all my money at once I'd never know it.  I don't balance any of my accounts. I don't balance a checkbook. I have a checkbook but I never really use it. All my bills are set up for automatic bill payment. I don't open my mail so I have to otherwise everything would get turned off. I buy what I want, when I want. There's plenty of money so I don't worry about it. I don't like going to the bank either so sometimes (real estate sale) there can be hundreds of thousands of dollars sitting in another basket on my desk waiting to make it to the bank. I'll make it to the bank before the 90 day expiration on the check. I try to get everybody to pay me via wire transfer but not many do it that way yet. Another great idea then I wouldn't have to ever go to the bank. I have a drawer in the kitchen where most people would probably keep cooking utensils but I keep cash in there. You can't pay everything with a debit or credit card. If I need cash I grab what I need and I'm out the door. I try to keep enough to last several months because I don't go to the bank. If someone breaks in and can make it through the coded locked gate at the bottom of the driveway, then make it past the coven crew without being seen, then make it past the alarm system and the dog I suppose they deserve it. If they even bother to look in the drawer. Mom I know you freaked out when you seen all those checks sitting in a basket and seen how long they had been sitting. I know I'm blessed to be successful when the economy is so crappy and so many are in financial crisis. I wanted to be able to tell you I'd take care of my personal life better and get my butt out of the house. I was thinking about it and didn't think I'd really do it but I did come up with a plan to get my checks to the bank as I get them. Turns out you can MAIL your checks to them and they will deposit them for you. Yay, now all I gotta do is order some stamps. Ewww, that means I gotta go to the damn post office. I can take a piece of mail to the mailbox though. Not a problem.....

Why won't I date anyone? I'm working on a piece as we speak that address this question. I'll be posting it sometime soon. It's somewhat painful and I can only handle dealing with that issue in small doses.   

I do leave the house. I'm not at home now. I'm never home in the winter months. I'm out when I'm performing, or working a show, or seeing a show, or touring, or promoting, or going to a writers convention or writers awards. I also get out when I have to go stupid shopping. I get out to go to guitar center or when I'm at the Civic Theatre or the studio. See, I do get out plenty enough. I'm happy at home. That's my sanctuary and I only leave if I have to. I'm happy writing, painting, playing, sculpting, reading, facebooking, blogging ect.....

So mom I get your point. I'm functioning on a disfunctional level. I'm so busy promoting, building, writing, painting, drawing, sculpting, blocking out the world and all my other projects that the day to day stuff is more than neglected. I flat out just don't do any of it. I can't say much will change because I'm happy, I don't wanna do any of it and none of those issues other than the not paying attention and blocking out the world are really an issue. They are, but there not. I get it but I don't wanna do anything about it at this time. But I do hear what your saying and I know your right......

"Good Girl" with "Bad Girl" Tendencies

I know I said I would check my facebook and write something for the blog everyday and I haven't. I'm sorry, I've been playing hard and haven't done much else. I thought a change of scenery would help clear my head. In a sense it has. I haven't thought about anything until yesterday. I get on the mountain and forget everything. I did start writing. Unfortunately, after reading it back I'm all over the place. I had several different things all jumbled into one long ramble. I'm working on cleaning it up, separating it into several posts so it's not so long and making it coherent so it will make sense. At this point, I only make sense to myself. Big surprise there....   

My brother and I were talking. He said, I do this every year. Every year around this time I kind of weird out a little. I get antsy, feel restless, need a change of scenery, start hashing out past, present, future issues in my head. Every year I go through a sort of death and rebirth. I never put much thought into my yearly habits. Now thinking about it. I do, do that. It's the change of season as well. Once again death, renewal, rebirth......

I took my little brother on this trip with me. We've been having to much fun. Been skiing in Aspen for the last several days. Got chased down by ski patrol first day out within a couple of hours of being there. I missed my spot to get on the chair lift with Tee so we both went up alone. I was right behind him though. At the top just before you ski off the lift if you push down with your ski's at the lip, the chair will lift you up just a little then pushes you off at a pretty good speed. You can jump off the peak with some speed behind you. What I didn't know was, you had to either have two people on the lift for weight or weigh at least 170 + pounds for that trick to work. Once I reached the top, I pushed down with my ski's and it lifted me up so high I couldn't get off then it started to go around as to go back down the mountain. I can see my brother standing below watching all this go down. Looking at me shaking his head laughing. Oh hell no! Have you ever seen anybody ride the lift down the mountain? No, I haven't. There is just no way I'm riding the chairlift down the mountain. So, I jumped off. That is a big NO NO. You are not suppose to jump off the chairlift but I did it anyway. There is a right way to do the wrong thing. They stopped the lift, and the next thing I know I see ski patrol peering over top to see who the idiot is. I know there gonna come after me. I also know almost everybody that works ski patrol. We all run in the same circle sort of speak. If you want me you gotta catch me. So I took off and led them on the chase. I always liked tag, and there it. Catch me if you can damn it MUHAHAHAAAA

Ski patrol is chasing me. My brother is chasing ski patrol. I led them all to South slope black diamond and jumped off the devils pitchfork. For any of you who don't ski or don't know that slope, the devils pitchfork is a 60' foot drop off the face of the mountain. Only a few of us actually attempt the drop all the others go around. I opted for the jump of course. Landed smooth, stopped to see if the others were going to follow me or go around. I didn't wanna loose them so soon. So I watch and wait. My brother ski's well but not well enough to do stuff like that. I knew he'd be going around. Both of the ski patrol guys followed me so I take off again. Chase is back on.....

I took them off devils pitch fork, through the pines, over the moguls, to the back side of the terrain park over all those big jumps. Finally, we all came to a stop. Now I get to see who's been chasing me. Whoever's been chasing me already knows who they've been chasing. You can't miss me. I'm the only one on any mountain at any givin' time wearing my signature black and red colors, sporting devil horns on my head, with hellfire ski's. I'm easy to spot. I may be mischievous but I really am a "good girl" who just happens to have "bad girl" tendencies. I'm pretty sure it's one of our crew cuz not to many of ski patrol would have chased me down like that. Most of them would have watched and waited, and caught up with me at some point later. They were having as much fun chasing me down as I was leading them on a chase. It was Spencer and Kal. The two Kamikazes from hell. Ha, now that's how to kick off the ski season. Great chase guys. That was a lot of fun.......

Night before last I tried to do a triple off Widows Peak. Didn't quite make it. Crash and burn. My first crash of the season was a big one. I hit so hard that I lost everything. I-Pod, my tin, my flask, goggles went flying off my head, one ski popped off, poles laying here and there. I'm pretty sore to the point it hurts to breathe and won't be doing any more skiing for a little while.  Tee and I left Aspen yesterday. We are now in San Diego. I will heal here, take a short break, and do some writing. Take it easy for a few days. Do some scuba diving and chill with The Aunts. The Ocean calls and serenity awaits......

Vampires, The Aunts, and ESPionage

You want to know more about what I said regarding The Aunts and the government and the whole ESPionage thing. Ha, if I really believed that THEY could indeed enslave me for ill purposes I wouldn't be writing all the stuff I've been writing. I really don't put much stock in that. It's true, I don't trust the government. For many reasons but what The Aunts said is just something that sticks in the back of my head. I've seen SyFy... lol I will never say something is impossible. My gifts don't work like that anyway. There subjective. Besides, nobody could make me do anything I didn't want to do. In short, If something big went down you better be ready for it because if you think for one minute our government is equipped or would come to your aid your sadly mistaken. This is a dog eat dog world. Every man for himself. Remember what happened in New Orleans when the levies broke. That's just one city. It was a crisis but when you think of all that could go wrong that's nothing. So, when the shit hits the fan someone better be ready to stand up and lead the troops. I could go on for hours regarding the inhumane, wrong, corrupt, greed, capitalist bullshit, ineffective, ways of the world which all go back to the damn government. This is another subject I try to avoid. I've learned to listen and keep my opinion to myself. I've caused a whole room to go silent with the "Oh my gods, I can't believe she just said that." Which of course leads to me having to explain why I said whatever it is I said. Which then leads to a lot of debate, and ultimately leads to huge unmanageable arguments, which then I disappear........

"The Aunts". What can I say about The Aunts? One is somewhat like me (a sensitive) and the other deals with the dead. I suppose you can say it runs in the family. The females on my mother's side and it seems to skip a generation except none of the Aunts children are afflicted. So, I am the youngest, a bit more fine tuned yet most at conflict. I will be visiting "The Aunts" on my journey in hopes they can tell me what the hell is happening to me and maybe even help me figure out what my grandfather is trying to tell me. I must figure out what that means to me......

HaHaHaHa You guys crack me up. NO, I'm not a vampire (too many movies folks). I'm graceful and light on my feet because of years of dancing and being trained in ballet and the arts. That is how I'm tip toe quiet. As far as the keen hearing... (very amused lol) I'm a sensitive. I feel your energy getting closer long before I hear you. I agree, my home is like a cultural museum with many artifacts, statues, painting, mummy's, tombs, books, scrolls, various weapons and a bunch of other rare finds that my grandfather and I have been collecting as long as I can remember. I'm not going to give my exact birth date because of all the idenity theft, abuse, and for the pure fact I don't like giving to much information about myself. I assure you, I was born in the late 70's not the 1700's or 1800's. As far as my bite, well that is just a fetish. I only bite my girlfriends when I'm feeling frisky cuz it won't go any further than a nibble. I don't run around biting my friends (hahaha). It really isn't a true "bite", as you would think of biting anyway. I guess, you'd have to be there. Please don't offer either (offers are boring). If I truly feel the urge most likely I'll just do it. I'm not much for asking permission. Besides, there is only one man whom I'd really like to nibble on. I would breathe him in and drink of him like a fine wine. I bet he smells good too. Not like cologne smell good. Like that natural masculine pheromone smell good. Mmmm..... Anything less that mad, passionate, extraordinary loving sex is a waste of time. There are too many mediocre things in life and that shall not be one of them....Ok, I may have slid off track for a moment. Anyway, an invite for a bite is pretty much the highest form of flattery. It is without a doubt sexual in nature but I'm not a Vampire. I'm a highly sensual being that is all.......

Thank you all for coming to my Annual Spooktacular Halloween Bash. Thank you to the Coven Crew for making it all happen. You guys did a great job as usual and it literally wouldn't of been possible without you. Sorry, I didn't announce my disappearance. Lady Guinevere had plenty enough. I looked to the stars and nothing was where it was suppose to be. I was disorientated, turned around in my chair one to many times. When the stars are wrong, I know I've had plenty enough and it's time for bed.......