Philosophy?

Philosophy? Yes, I have many and could probably keep you here a very long while explaining my philosophy, my take on.....well, everything! I do look at the world through a different pair of glasses then most of society. However, most of society isn't afflicted with my cured gifts. I take a look at most things from a spiritual metaphysical point of view and then fight with my logical side. Sometimes hours, days, weeks, years, a lifetime. I am without a doubt in a constant battle with myself. I was definitely born under the wrong sign for these cursed gifts. My deep sensibility and the need to be logical almost always clashes with my metaphysical self. Although, I'm most comfortable in the metaphysical world. There is much that I don't know and am still learning my craft and trying to do something good with it.

 It is very frustrating seeing some of the things I see. Not able to tell exactly WHAT I'm seeing and feeling can be quite scary. You want to be able to do something to help, to warn of the destruction that is to come yet the not knowing is there. You can't warn when your not sure WHO. You can't help when you don't know  WHAT the mission is. My hands are tied most of the time. Restraint and confinement comes to mind. I absolutely go crazy with the thought of helplessness, restraints and confinement. I don't trust the government and my ideals are very different from what is reality. This world would be completely different if I was in charge. It would be Alice in Wonderland all over again but better. I have many reasons for not trusting the government but one that always stuck in the back of my head was what "The Aunts" have taught me. The Aunts have taught me, that I cannot trust government and should be fearful for as if they stumble upon any of US we could be enslaved to them for greed, espionage, and used in the wrong way. The ugly side of humanity sort of speak. Which undeniably would not be in any of our best interest. I am a free bird. Born to fly. I must have freedom or I die. Mentally, physically, and metaphysically. Maybe, in part that is why I live on the edge. You know my motto: "I don't want to push you over the edge, I just want you to enjoy the edge". It is all or nothing. Go big or go home. Push it to the limits. I'm not a sheep, I'm a wolf among sheep trying to open your eyes to a much bigger, expansive, world. Where we have much more power than most can fathom.

There is much more than what you SEE. Most of you see the coin two sided. I see every coin four sided. There are many sides to everything. I dissect it, pick it apart, explore it, know it, become it, then put it in the right order and super glue that shit back together again. Being in my head is absolutely exhausting. I can get exhausted by doing absolutely nothing but thinking. It is very tiring to be me. There has got to be a reason I can communicate with the dead. A reason I see, feel, hear, know what I know. What is my purpose? How can I serve us all better with my gifts? I still don't know. Maybe I am just to secretive. I'm really not all that secretive. I'm quietly an open book really. I may not be outright with it but if you ask you shall receive. If your afraid of what I might say, think twice. I'm not good at the spare the feelings thing. You may not like the answer you get but it will be an honest one.

Like I said I'm very careful who I let into my world. Surrounding myself with the right people is very important. Picking the right mate is equally important. It's like trying to find the needle in the haystack. This time I'm certain to get it right. What you have is a Queen without a King. Three times a charm. Right? I like my quiet, tranquil, little life and I don't want anything disrupting it. I will always be very careful who I let into my world. If red flags that are not conducive to me appear I'm gone and for good reason, I protect myself. I cut out the useless and wasteful. It is very easy for me and I won't bat a lash. It takes a special type of person to be able to handle me. As far as the sexy French man goes. I may have shitty timing but I'm not wrong about this. I know in my heart of hearts, I'm not wrong. He may not know it, but I know it. Sure, I don't know what to do about it. It will work itself out, I suppose. I told you guys I would find a way to open the door to tell him about my cursed gifts. I did open the door. Now whether he chooses to walk through it is altogether another thing. We will see.....

I know you all love me, look upon me as your Queen, the Oracle, the all seeing eye and would do almost anything for me but I also know I scare the shit out of you guys often enough. Hell, I scare myself often enough. My intentions are pure that has never been questioned. Now I have this NEW thing. What is it? How did it happen? Why? I've been hearing the dead for years. I can deal with dead. Dead is dead and residual energy from another life. Yeah, I get that. I have lots to draw from when it comes to dead and there energy. But, never have I tapped into a single live being and there emotions. Sure, I see and feel things that are to come but that is different. Different because it's usually a major incident and I feel as a mass not as a individual. Did he do that? Or did I do that? Maybe we both did that? What is happening to me? My curious nature and the need to explore wants me probe further. Yet my, Oh no you don't. Leave him alone, that is wrong to the core to invade someone's psyche is saying NO!!! I don't know what happened and I don't know what is happening to me? Can I control it? I don't know? Constant battle I tell ya.......

In keeping with that theme, it's my search for meaning that is also a focal point. By virtue of exploring my world, I start to grasp everything that is available to me. It all boils down to understanding. Understanding what I see and feel, and probing further in hopes of realizing true meaning. Through higher education of my metaphysical self, I have the hopes of understanding concepts and theories that will enhance my world and therefore all of you as well. Whether it's philosophy or psychology, or other worldly things it all reminds me that I and everybody I bring into my world are on a voyage of discovery. I know I'm not an easy one to tame, can be quite wild at times, never know where you might end up, or what demons we may face together. I know, I'm complicated and just when you think you get it I change direction. Harder to keep up with than Glen Danzig as you say...lol Although, your all better for it and know it as I will open your eyes to what you've been programmed to not see, and not understand. Along this road, we will come face-to-face with our ideals and further shape our selves and ethics. Another approach to a clearer understanding of life, and more importantly, of the unknown, it's through spirituality. Understanding and accepting that which is greater than us, and our world, is key.......

Sadly, I might not always be humble in the face of what I have. A concrete understanding of the possibilities in my life sometimes leads to ruthless ambition, and an over-expansion of the self and my coven. To face these demons most effectively, I institute my own set of  laws. These laws provide the orderly and positive growth of myself. In much the same way, philosophy and religion help add focus and purpose. Religion..... I always try to steer clear of religion as I have my own. I believe in many aspect of many different cultures and many different religions. None have it completely right. They all have bits and pieces right (in my opinion). How we all relate to each other, and knowing and respecting the laws by which are lived are core tenets......

The way in which I expand my inner and outer life is also important to me. Travel and interaction with other people and cultures are a means to an end. My dreams, those that illustrate my past as well as those that speak to future, also help me mold my being and my relationships. Taking this a step further, psychics as the bearers of relevant information also come into play. At the end of the day, however, I am best described as philosophically inclined in the search for meaning and truth......

I'd like to be an open book

and let you in to take a look

but will you treat my pages with care?

Will you respect what you find in there?

Will you take the time to understand my story?

Delve into my depths to find my glory?

Or put me aside 'til I become dusty?

Lose interest then wonder why I'm musty?

Will you be gentle with my cover?

Run your hands over me as a lover?

Or will you be careless with my reams?

Splitting me open at the seams?

Few are those who opened my pages

Discovering me through many stages

I open myself gradually with much delight

but always they want to change parts not right.

Yet still I'd like to be an open book

and let you inside me to take a look

but my leaves are becoming marked and worn

better you leave me closed than torn.....